Marketing guitar lessons and how I think the Shamwow Guy is Chris Walken's meth-head nephew

I try to watch tv like a good citizen. It doesn't work; I have to time shift BSG or catch Bourdain's show when it happens to work out.

On the other hand, I've learned something new and apparently important about tv advertising, which somehow I can't seemingly avoid:

1) You have to have a spokesperson with a curious accent;

2) He has to be manic, and speak sort of like the voice-over announcers for the warnings in pharmaceutical commercials - the verbal equivalentofnothavingspacesinyourspeech;

3) The item you are selling must be $19.95;

4) Along with this, that price must reflect either a 50% discount, or include an extra item that has absolutely no relevance to the item being advertised;

5) (this is the important part!) - YOU CAN ONLY SELL IT FOR 5 MINUTES AT A TIME!

It's the Shamwow Marketing Formula. "It sells itself, right". I've since seen a couple of commercials for other items that follow this exact premise. Theycanaffordtoadvertiseontv,soitmustwork,right? <g>

MaybeIshouldjusteliminatespacesinmywritingaswell,toemulate
thisShamwowspeakingeffect?


So what I take from this is that I really need to change my answering machine message at my office.